


Roommates

by c00kie



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Porn, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-05-23
Packaged: 2018-01-26 06:16:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1677833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c00kie/pseuds/c00kie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leslie and Ben are roommates who give into mutual temptation. Or the one where Leslie and Ben really need to learn how to communicate and Ann is a magnificent Starfish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roommates

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by my lover, Ashley.

 

"What're you watching?" she asks as she sits down next to him.

_"Johnny Mnemonic_ ," Ben answers, handing her the bowl of popcorn. She takes a handful and he takes the bowl back, setting it on the in table next to him.

"Again?"

"It's a classic."

"I think we need to redefine your definition of classic," Leslie says, rolling her eyes. She leans back on the couch and they fall into a silence as Keanu Reeves turns into a cyborg or whatever it is that happens because honestly Leslie isn't paying attention to the screen. It's impossible because somehow her feet are in Ben's lap and his hand is on her ankle and he's drawing on her foot with his thumb. She's not even sure he's aware he's doing it.

"Ben?"

He just looks at her and smirks, then turns back. She's never sure what he means when he does that, but it drives her crazy in ways she'd rather not admit.

"I thought you had a date tonight, anyway," he says eventually.

"He called and canceled."

"This was the guy from your American Lit class right? The Hemingway wannabe?"

"Faulkner, actually, but yes."

"Yeah, you're better off."

Leslie sighs, closing her eyes as she concentrates on the warm tingles in her skin as Ben continues to draw on her feet. "I know. I was just really looking forwardto having sex."

She thinks she hears Ben intake a sharp breath, but she can't really be sure. "If it makes you feel better, I haven't had sex in a while either."

Leslie laughs at this. "I find that really hard to believe."

"Have you seen anyone around here lately?"

She pushes his leg with her foot. "No, but we both know that doesn't mean anything." She's used to girls coming in and out of Ben's room all the time. It's something she's dealt with since he applied to her ad for a roommate.

"Even so, it's true. I am having a dry spell." He shrugs and goes back to watching the movie, but Leslie can't stop thinking about Ben, whose sexual activities rival even Ann or Donna's, having a dry spell.

"Why?"

"No one has caught my eye."

Leslie regards Ben with great skepticism. "Is that your way of saying you've slept with everyone already?"

Ben looks at her with a mixture of amusement and something else she's never really been able to place. "Not everyone."

"Oh right, I forgot your rule against freshmen."

"I was going to say I haven't slept with you."

On any other night Leslie would laugh at this and make a joke, but Ben's fingers have now wandered up to just above her ankle and wow is she really glad Theo called after she shaved her legs.

"Why not?"

His hand stops, as if he's realized what he's doing and regards her for the longest time, studying her like she's some complex math problem. She wonders if he's making a list in his head of all the reasons he hasn't hit on her: they're roommates, they're friends, she's not his type… But then his fingers are circling her wrist and she's being pulled into his lap and he tastes like beer and marinara sauce, but in a good way that makes her want to keep kissing him.

It gets real when he starts unbuttoning her blouse. She pulls back, heart racing. "Ben?"

"Yeah?" His voice is soft and rough, making her think he's just as affected.

"What are we doing?"

He smirks again, damn him, and moves her hair out of her face. "I thought it was obvious." He moves in to kiss her again, running his fingernails down her arms, making her skin tingle. "Do you want to?"

She thinks about it. On one hand, she's in love with him and she's heard enough girl's scream his name to know he's good at sex, but on the other, she's in love with him and she doesn't want to be another notch on his bedpost.

Oh fuck it. Who knows when she might have this chance again. She moves forward and so does he, their mouths meeting somewhere in the middle. There's no hesitation, no real finesse, it's just raw, passionate kissing that she feels all the way to her bones. She's never felt this before and they're only kissing. Somehow though, both their shirts come off. She wants to touch him everywhere and learn all the muscles and bones in his lithe frame.

"Stand up," he says, gently pushing her off his lap. She stands at between his legs with shaking knees and hands, wondering what Ben's planning to do. He leans forward and kisses her stomach. Not her breasts, but her stomach, her pale, slightly round stomach. Then he kisses her again, this time lower, right above her waistband. She hitches a breath as he hooks his fingers into her pants, pulling them down to her feet.

"I wanted this for so long," he says, kissing the center of her solid blue panties.

He has? It's not until Ben nods against her, kissing her again this time right above her clit that Leslie realizes she asked the question out loud.

"How long?"

He laughs and kisses her leg. "Since I saw you in my boxers."

She remembers that day. Some jerk had taken all of her clothes out of the washing machine and dumped them on the floor and she'd been without any clean clothes so she resorted to borrowing a pair of his boxers to wear around the apartment. Ben had come in, taken one look at her and walked out returning hours later. But that had been over a year ago. And now he's sitting on the floor, fingers pressing into her waist, his scruff scratching her thighs as he slowly opens her up with his tongue.

No wonder he's so popular with the ladies.

She cards her fingers through his hair, the strands as soft as she imagined.

"Oh fuck." His growl vibrates through her. She wonders what he means, but can't ask because he's pulling her even closer, doing things with his mouth that makes her brain turn into pudding.

Then she starts to feel the sudden heat and tension in her body that means she's close. Her calves tense, making it hard to stand, but Ben's holding her, keeping her in place and not letting up even as she keeps repeating his name in warning.

Leslie's still shaking when he pulls her into his lap. His face is wet and she can taste herself on his lips, but his hands are in her hair and he's such a good kisser that it doesn't matter.

Once, Leslie had been in the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of orange juice when a girl wearing one of Ben's shirts and nothing else walked in and informed her that Ben had a perfect penis. And because Leslie's a normal twenty one year old female person, she's thought about Ben's allegedly perfect penis and what makes it so great a lot since then. Is it length? Girth? Is it how he uses it?

Now she's going to find out.

This is an important day in history.

The thing though is Leslie doesn't really believe it's truly perfect until she unzips his jeans and pulls his boxers down and looks at it.  
It is perfect. It's not too long, not too short and just the right thickness. There's precome she would love to taste coming out of the head but she shakes the desire away. What she really wants is to know what it feels like inside her.

"Do you have a condom?"

He stops kissing her shoulder long enough to say, "Bedroom."

She slides of off him and offers her hand, silently saying lets go then. He takes it, smiling in a way she's never seen before and then a few short minutes later, she's on his bed, undressed and watching him roll the condom on.

This is really happening.

Then he leans forward and kisses her again. A cool breeze cascades over Leslie's back but she barely has time to shiver because Ben's rolling her over onto her back, kissing a path down her body.

Leslie's always been a talker during sex, but right now she finds she has nothing to say.

Or maybe there's too much to say, but the words get caught in her throat.

"Wait," she says, putting her hands on his shoulders. "I want to be on top." She pushes him over and straddles him. Placing her hands on his chest, she slowly lowers herself onto him, closing her eyes at the delightful stretch. She leans forward and captures Ben's lips in a kiss before sitting back up. Ben holds her waist as Leslie slowly rolls her hips, guiding her with every stroke.

***

"I had sex with Ben."

Ann nearly spits out her white wine. "What? When?"

They're in the dorm Ann shares with her roommate, a journalism major who Leslie's had the pleasure of making pancakes for, watching _Love's Deadly Triangle: The Texas Cadet Murder._ "A week ago. And several times since then."

"And you're just now telling me about it?" Ann pushes Leslie's shoulder. "I can't believe you." She pauses and says, "How was it?"

Leslie shrugs. "It was good."

An eyebrow on Ann's perfect face goes up. "Good?"

She sighs. "Fine. It was great. He's great. Top five."

"Better than French exchange student guy?"

Leslie smiles at the memory of Jean Pierre and his long fingers and love of roleplay. But then she thinks about Ben and shakes her head. "Yeah, he's better."

"Wow. So are you dating?"

"I don't think so," Leslie answers. "I kind of got the impression he just wants it to be friends with benefits type thing."

"Oh. What did he say?"

"Well, he didn't really say anything.The first night he just kissed me and said 'night babe' and went to sleep. Then the next morning he acted really weird and said he would be late home so don't worry about dinner and kissed me on the cheek and flew out the door and we haven't talked about it since."

"But you said you've done it more than that."

"I said we've done it, I didn't say we talked."

Ann frowns. "Leslie you need to talk to him. Tell him what you want."

"What if he doesn't want the same thing?"

"Then he's crazy."

***

"Leslie Knope!"

Leslie grimaces. She had forgotten that tonight was Ben's guy night. "Hi, Chris." She walks past the table where they're playing Cones of Dunshire, a game Ben invented during last year's Spring Break. Ben doesn't say anything but she can feel his eyes following her.

She takes a juice box out of the fridge and heads to her room, claiming she needs to study, which has the benefit of being true.

"I'll be right back," she hears Ben say. "You can skip my turn."

She thinks she hears Barney say okay, but it's hard to make it out over the rapid drumming in her head.

Why did she think sleeping with Ben would be a good idea?

Before she can answer her own question, she's spun around and lifted up against the wall. Ben's lips slide across hers with such ease and purpose that she can't help but melt into it. "I've been thinking about you all day."

Leslie swallows, distracted by the way Ben's fingers are grazing her arms."Yeah?"

"Yeah." He kisses her again, so slow and sweet that it makes her toes curl before setting her back down on the floor. "I'm about to win so after they leave yeah?"

She nods and smiles, desire fueling her. "Yeah."

He cups her face in his hands, kisses her forehead and leaves.

It had taken a whole year for Leslie to realize her feelings for Ben. Oh sure, she thought he was cute and liked to stare at his butt but he was always just Ben, cute roommate with a great butt, not Ben, guy she wants to throw down and climb on top of.

 

But then Carolina Beesly happened. Carolina was a pre law student with big curly hair and dark skin and long legs that never seemed to end. She worked in the library where she and Ben met and had a lot of opinions about the Dewey Decimal system versus Library of Congress. She liked baseball and board games and Dr. Who and Ben really loved her. Ben never said he loved her, but Leslie knew. She could tell just from how he would play with the ends of her hair while they cuddled on the couch.

And then Carolina dumped Ben and he moped around the apartment for a week in his favorite Letters to Cleo t-shirt and started collecting rare coins. She did what she did for all of her friends when they were dumped: poured him shots of tequila until he was singing "Africa" by Toto with her. Then the next day she pushed him into the bathroom and told him not to come out until he took a shower and after that, they watched _the X-Files_ and she tried not to think about how much Ben reminded her of Fox Mulder.

And throughout the whole ordeal, a realization took form in Leslie's mind; she didn't just think Ben was cute. She was in love with him.

And now she's sitting on her bed, reading about Elizabeth Cady Stanton while she waits for Ben's friends to leave. It takes an hour, which is good because she has a test in two days but bad because she can't concentrate.

Ben wants to have sex with her again.

Ben wants to have sex with her tonight.

Next to her, Leslie's phone buzzes. She picks it up and sees there's a text from Ben. She opens it and reads, "They're leaving, get naked."

Sure enough, she hears goodbyes being exchanged out in the hallway. She looks at the text again and then the door and makes her decision, jumping up to take off her pants.

Leslie's removing her bra when Ben comes in, pulling his shirt off and throwing it on the floor as he kicks the door closed. "Bed, now."

Leslie doesn't even hesitate. She just sits on her bed and takes him in. He's pale and his chest hair is sparse but his arms are defined and his stomach is flat and his hipbones are sharp and he's just so sexy she wants to rub herself all over him.

He grins as he lays on his stomach between her legs. "Hello," he says, kissing the side of her right knee, just above the scar where she broke it. She can still remember how livid Ben was the next day when he came to see her in the hospital. It was the first time she'd seen him truly angry.

"Hi."

"I was talking to your puss," he tells her, stroking her outer lips with his finger.

Leslie just shakes her head. "Weirdo."

Ben just smirks and kisses his way up her thigh. Soon, Leslie gets lost in the sensation of his mouth gently pulling on her skin. His fingers keep stroking her, gently spreading her apart and snaking their way inside. She throws her head back, eyes closed tight while he pumps two fingers inside her, twisting and crooking in rapid pulses. "Fuck, baby, you're so wet."

She just moans in response. Then his fingers are gone, replaced by his mouth. She opens her eyes and looks down at Ben. His eyes are closed, arms wrapped around her legs and hands on her thighs while he maps her with his tongue.

She pulls on his hair, making him stop and look up. "I want you to fuck me."

"I'm not done."

"I don't care. Fuck me."

"Give me a minute."

She doesn't want to give him a minute. She wants him inside her. Now. "Please."

He growls and glares at her. It doesn't nothing to curb her want. "Leslie, I promise I'll fuck you, but right now I'm going to do this."

She lets her head fall back. "Ugh, fine."

"Good," he says, kissing the inside of her leg. "I've been thinking about you all day."

"Are you talking to my lady parts?"

"Yes."

Well, at least she knows where his head is at in this relationship, or whatever you want to call it.

Ben sighs and stops. "You know this works a lot better if you relax."

"I am relaxed." It's a lie, she hasn't been this tense in ages. Judging from the look on Ben's face, he knows this. He sighs and sits up on his knees.

"Okay. Turn around, on your stomach," he says, reaching for the bottle of lotion on her bedside table. It's not the first time Ben's offered to massage her, but it is the first time she's had her top off, let alone the rest of her clothes.

"Why are you still wearing jeans?" she asks after she rolls over.

"You want me to take them off?"

"I think it would be fair."

She feels the mattress give as Ben steps off. She doesn't watch him take his jeans and underwear off, just waits for the bed to dip again when he comes back.  
Ben's hands are magic. That is the only way to describe them. They're large, spreading out all over her back, and talented, able to rub out all the kinks in her body she wasn't even aware she had. The last time he did this he stayed up near her shoulders but this time they travel down to her lower back.

Then she feels his lips kiss the back of her shoulders, his hands now on her hips. They come around, over her butt and down, lips peppering kisses onto her skin while his fingers work their magic. "You're very good at that."

"I know."

It figures Ben's an arrogant jerk during sex. But yet, there was something about the way he teases her that made Leslie feel electrified.

She wonders if he's like this with all the women he sleeps with.

No, she can't think about that.

"I can hear you thinking," he says, voice ghosting across her ear, "stop it."

"If you want me to stop, do something about it." She expects him to deny her again, but instead he just gets up and takes the condom out of his jeans and rolls it on.

"On your knees."

She has to bite her lip to keep from sighing in relief, lifting herself on the bed supported by her arms and knees. And then he's over her, kissing her neck, hands coming around to cup her breasts as he slides inside her.

It's raw and dirty and fast and perfect. Her orgasm comes quick and strong and leaves her feeling boneless and euphoric all at once. But then she feels herself being turned around and without hesitation Leslie wraps her legs around Ben's waist. He kisses her as he thrusts. Leslie gets lost in the friction and Ben's body covering her, in the smell of his sweat and the taste of his skin on his neck.

Ben comes with a soft groan. He kisses her again and pulls out. "I'm gonna take a shower. Wanna join me?"

Leslie grins and takes his offered hand.

***  
"It happened again, didn't it?"

Leslie swallows her waffle and shakes her head. "What happened again?"

"You had sex with Ben again."

"Oh, that. Um...I don't suppose you'll believe me if I say no."

"Yes that! Have you told him how you feel?"

Leslie looks down at her plate. "I told him I like his penis."

Ann just blinks at her. "And what else?"

"That he's very good with his mouth parts and his hands are nice and that I really love his butt."

"So you didn't tell him you like him."

"I...it's implied! Besides, Ben doesn't feel the same way and the moment I say something everything will change and not only will the sex stop but so will our friendship and I'll have to find a new place to live and maybe even transfer."

"Wow."

"Yeah," Leslie's glad Ann agrees with her. "So I'm just going to keep cool."

***

The problem with keeping it cool is Ben makes it impossible. On Monday he make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and fingers her on the table before she has to go to class. On Tuesday he dedicates a song to her during his radio show, Zoot Suit Wyatt. On Wednesday he helps her with her math homework. This isn't unusual, but the chocolate covered strawberries are.

On Thursday is when it gets really weird. It starts with Ben suggesting they go to Flannerys.

"I don't know." It's not like Leslie doesn't like Flannerys, she does. It's just she isn't in the mood to watch Ben hook up.

He takes her hand, thumb rubbing her wrist. "C'mon. It's Karaoke Night."

Leslie sighs. "You're not going to sing Man on the Moon again are you?"

Ben laughs and leans in to kiss her. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."

When they get to the bar he kisses her temple and says he's going to get them beers. She's so stunned that she remains motionless until someone bumps into her. Realizing she's blocking the way, Leslie moves to the side, next to a guy who does a double take at her.

"Hi."

She smiles back at him. His hair is too short and too light and his eyes, while brown, remind her more of caramels than brownies, but still he's cute.

"What brings you here?" he asks.

"Oh, I'm here with my roommate," Leslie answers. "You?"

"Just here," he says, shrugging. "I'm Greg."

"Leslie."

"Nice to meet you, Leslie," Greg says, "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Oh my room-" she starts to say, just as Ben comes up to them, "mate got me one already."

"Sorry," Ben says, handing Leslie her beer before looking at Greg. "Oh hey."

"Uh, hey," Greg says, looking from Leslie to Ben. She can't say she really blames him, usually when Leslie starts talking to guys at bars, he leaves her alone, but right now he's making no effort to move.

"So you go to school here?" Greg asks, nodding at Leslie's shirt.

"Um, yeah, History major," Leslie says, slightly distracted by the way Ben's twisting a strand of hair around his finger. Images of Carolina flash in her mind, making Leslie's head spin. "You?"

"Yeah. Business."

"Oh, that's where I know you," Ben says, fingernail scratching Leslie's neck. "We had Accounting 306 together last semester."

"Oh yeah!" Greg's smile is so fake that it makes Leslie want to cringe, but she can't, because Ben is still touching her and it's taking everything she has not to pull him down to her, Greg be damned.

Greg's eyes narrow. "You guys are roommates?"

Ben moves his hand to Leslie's shoulder. "Yep."

"Oh, okay," Greg says, "Um, uh, I gotta," he gestures to the restrooms, "It was nice meeting you."

"You too," Leslie replies, too confused by everything to give a better response. She watches as he goes and then turns to Ben, whose hand is still on her shoulder.

He takes a long sip of his beer before looking back at her. "Wanna go?"

Leslie blinks. "I thought we were...karaoke." she finishes, weakly.

"I'm not feeling it," Ben shrugs, "but if you want to stay it's cool."

Leslie frowns and looks around. The girls are pretty and she doesn't recognize a lot them so Leslie's not sure why Ben wants to leave already.

"No, that's okay," she says, feeling like she's missing a crucial piece to a puzzle. "Let's go."

He gives her a grin and takes her hand and leads her outside.

The walk home is silent, but their hands brush, making Leslie's skin tingle with anticipation.

 

Leslie spits out her toothpaste just as Ben comes into the bathroom. She drops her toothbrush into the sink as he spins her around and lifts her up on the counter. Leslie giggles, taking a fist full of his shirt and pulling him into her.

"Let me fuck you." There's a silent please at the end that makes Leslie feel like she's had more than just half a beer. She nods and Ben starts kissing her while he removes their clothing. She wraps her legs around his waist, expecting him to carry her to the bed but he just quickly rolls on the condom she wasn't aware he had and slides into her.

The porcelain is cold and hard under her bare ass. She tries to arch her back and move around, but her butt's already getting sore. "Ben?

"Yeah?"

"My butt hurts."

"Oh," he says, pulling out and helping her to the floor. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she says, leaning up to kiss his shining lips. "Just let's find a softer surface."

"Softer surface," he says, placing his hands on her hips and starting to walk her out of the bathroom toward his room. "Got it."

***  
It goes on from there. Life itself doesn't change, Leslie still goes to class every day, Ben still reads her papers before she turns them in, they still have dumb arguments over how her collection of owls are taking over the living room, only now the arguments lead to sex.

But this in itself is not worrisome. No, it's the little things.

"What little things?"

Leslie eats a French fry and chews slowly as she tries to think of a way to explain Ben's behavior to Ann. "He spoons me. At night."

"Okay?"

"And he bought me a diet coke the other day. And a candy necklace."

"Oh?"

Leslie can tell she's not getting through to her. "He hasn't gone out in over a month. The other day I started my period and told him he didn't have to stay and he just gave me a back massage while we watched _Hook_."

Ann smiles, like she wants to say something but then her alarm on her phone goes off. "I have class. Call me later."

"Bye!" Leslie shouts after her, "Love you!" Receiving the same in return. She smiles at the other patrons who look over and continues to eat.

***  
On Friday they go see a movie. On Sunday Ben stays between her legs all day, On Wednesday, Leslie walks into their apartment to find a candle in an empty beer bottle on the table and Ben pulling a pizza out of the oven. She stills, afraid to move incase it's some kind of trick. Maybe Ben got a new girlfriend and is trying to impress her, maybe he's doing this to tell her he wants to stop doing this and just go back to being roommates.

Her train of thought derails when he sees her, grins and says, "Awesome, you're right on time."

"You made dinner?" She winces at how small her voice sounds.

"It's mac and cheese pizza," he explains as she goes over to look. "I saw the recipe on-" she doesn't get to hear where he found it, because she's too busy kissing him. Ben's hands find their way into her hair, hers to his belt. Ben laughs, pushing her away. "C'mon, it'll get cold and I've been told you have to eat it hot."

"Fine," Leslie huffs. "But after I'm totally jumping your bones."

Ben looks like he's at war with himself, his eyes darting from her to the pizza and the floor, his fists clenched.

"Fuck it," he says, in more of a growl that makes Leslie beam, knowing she's won.

The mac and cheese pizza is still good an hour later.

***

She's stress eating waffles at three in the morning of her first midterm when a pair of arms wrap around her waist and a scruffy chin scratches her neck. "What have I told you about eating at three in the morning?"

"To do it?"

Ben kisses her right where her neck and shoulders meet. "C'mon, let's go to bed." He takes the box out of her hand and places it on the counter. "It's going to be okay."

"It's an important test. It's thirty percent of our grade."

Ben spins her around, hands on her shoulders. "You have A's on all your weekly assignments and you aced your first paper. Even if you get a D on the test you'll be okay. But you won't. You'll be amazing and your professor will be amazed by how amazing you are. So shut your mouth and come to bed."

Leslie melts at his words, and the soft, sure tone he uses to say them. It's not the first time Ben has given her this kind of pep talk, but with the way his hands are grazing her sides and his eyes keep focusing on the outline of her breasts through her threadbare shirt, it feels like something more.

***  
The next day she takes her midterm and feeling good about her performance, goes to the campus coffee shop for a celebratory brownie. She's eating when she hears some girls giggling behind her. "He's so good," one of them's saying, "like you wouldn't think it because he's kind of small but he's got some serious moves."

"Oh, so he takes charge?" Another asks while the others snicker. "I like that in a man."

"Yeah. He'll pin me down and says the hottest shit," the first says. There's a pause and Leslie waits, stomach twisting itself into knots. "It's been over a month though. I should call him."

"Or give me his number," another girl laughs.

"What'd you say his name is again?" It's the second girl who asks. Leslie clenches her firsts, waiting for confirmation.

"Ben Wyatt. He's a senior."

Leslie stares down at the small chunk of brownie left, feeling like she hasn't eaten in days. Her first reaction is to get up and go confront Ben, but even before she can slide out of the booth she realizes she doesn't have the right to be angry. Of course Ben is still seeing other people. It's not like they're exclusive and he can have his future babies with whomever he wants. But why is he doing it in secret? And when is he doing it? He's spending all of his free time with her. Unless he's doing it when he should be in class.

It's one thing for Ben to still be with other people, but it's another that he would risk his education to do it.  
***

"He's sleeping with other people."

Ann looks up from her textbook. "Um, hi." She gestures with her head to the left. Leslie doesn't even need to look to know who's behind her. Still she pastes on a smile and turns around.

"Hi, Shauna." She likes Shauna, really she does. Of all of Ben's old lovers, she's probably Leslie's favorite. But that doesn't mean she wants to talk to her about him.

"Hi," Shauna says, bright smile on her face. "Who's sleeping with other people?"

"No one," Leslie says. "Some guy, you wouldn't know him, Ann?"

Ann nods and closes her book. "I'll be back," she tells Shauna, whose smile has gone from friendly curiosity to bewilderment.

"Okay." She shrugs and turns back to her computer and Leslie and Ann leave.

They end up going to the tiny park across the street from Ann's dorm. It's nice out, with lots of fireflies and crickets chirping. They sit on a wooden bench and Leslie kicks at the ground for a minute while Ann waits for her to begin. It should be easy to say, since she's already said it once before, but she can't.

"What am I going to do?" she asks instead.

"Tell him how you actually feel," Ann says, "Leslie, it's your only option."

Leslie groans. She knows, deep down, that Ann is right, but her fear of losing Ben is too much. "He doesn't want that."

"How do you know?"

"Because, I know Ben! I know he likes me, even cares for me, but it's physical him."

"Are you sure?" Ann asks. "Because it sounds to me like it might actually mean more to him. All the stuff you've told me, it sounds like he's acting like your boyfriend."

"Oh Ann, you beautiful monitor lizard, I wish you were right, but I know better." Ben wants, likes, girls like Shauna.

"Right," Ann says, but her disbelief is obvious. "What are you going to do?"

Leslie watches the fireflies for a moment while she considers Ann's question. Finally she just shakes her head and tells the truth. "I don't know."

***  
It takes a week at home moping around during Spring Break and a lot of waffles and chocolate for Leslie to feel somewhat better about things. She spends most of her vacation inside watching TV and reading since most of her old friends are in places like Florida or Mexico and not in Pawnee.

She wishes she'd gone to California with Ann again. Sun and surfing probably would have taken her mind of things.

Her phone buzzes during _Jeopardy._ "I miss you."

She types in, "Call me." Because as confused and hurt as she is, she wants to talk to him.

Moments later the phone rings. "Hey you."

"Hey, babe. How's your vacation going?"

"It's boring," Leslie says, sighing. "But I wrote the first draft of my final paper on Women in 19th century American Politics, so there's that. What are you doing?"

"Making myself some coffee and then I'm going to watch Blade Runner."

She wonders if he's by himself, but pinches herself to keep from asking. "How did your last test go?"

"Great," he says, going into a long speech about statistical analysis that goes over Leslie's head but she lets the sound of Ben's voice wash over her like rain. This is the Ben she loves; the one she wishes was all hers. In her head she can hear Ann saying, "Tell him!" but even if she wanted to, Leslie can't. Not like this, not on the phone. So she just laughs at his stupid jokes and says she misses him and promises to call him before she comes home.

***

It's ten on a Saturday night when Leslie comes home. The taxi drops her off at her front door after thanking the driver and watching him drive away, she takes a deep breath and looks up at the window to their apartment. The light in the living room is on, and she can see the reflection of the TV.

She hopes he's alone.

Fingers gripping her suitcase tight, she goes inside.

Since her last conversation with Ben on the phone, and two more with Ann and one with a mustached man buying hamburger meat at Food and Stuff because she wanted a masculine perspective, Leslie decided she would tell Ben how she feels.

She changes her mind about six times between the time she gets in the elevator and when she gets out.

"You can do this," she tells herself before inserting her key into the door.

Sure enough, Ben has his trusty popcorn bowl beside him, his beer is on a coaster on the coffee table, his bare feet resting beside it. His hair is flat, face unshaven. More importantly, he's alone. He looks at her and smiles. "Hi," he says, standing up to come greet her.

"I don't want to see other people!" she blurts, causing Ben stop just a foot away.

"Um, what?" He blinks, his voice and face displaying his confusion.

Leslie takes another breath. This wasn't the way she had wanted to do it. She'd wanted to do it with a romantic gesture, like a present and dinner and maybe an eagle, but it's out and she can't take it back. It's best to just say it and let the cards fall where they may.

"I don't want to see other people," she repeats, softer and clearer this time.

"Um." Leslie braces herself for his response, which, judging by the way he's rubbing his neck, is probably going to be bad. Maybe she should just offer to move out.

Except it's technically her apartment since her name is on the lease. Maybe he should move out. But then she would have to find another roommate and where would she find a roommate as great as Ben?

"I wasn't aware we were seeing other people." His tone is quiet, but there's no mistaking his anger.

"I know," she says. She will not cry in front of him. Not now. "About the girls."

"What girls?"

"I was at Mildred's and I heard these girls talking and one of them said you 'pin her down and say dirty shit' to her and I tried really hard not to let it bother me or be jealous but I am and I know I'm not your type but I think we could be good together."

To Leslie's surprise and indignation, Ben starts laughing. Of all the reactions she thought she might get, him laughing at her was not one of them.

"You can just say no, you don't have to be a jerk about it."

"I'm sorry," he says, and she can tell he means it even if his eyes are still sparkling. "But I don't know who you heard but they must have been talking about something that happened in the past, specifically before we got together."

"She used present tense."

"Okay well either she's lying or she's stupid."

"Oh wait," Leslie says, holding her hand up, "she did say it was over a month since she saw you."

"See, there you go." His smile, while still somewhat annoying, is now slowly starting to become cute. Still, she needs to make sure she understands.

"So you're not seeing anyone else?"

"No. And when would I? I spend nearly all of my free time with you."

"I thought maybe you were skipping class or having your friends lie for you." But now that she says it out loud, it does sound rather stupid. Ben would never skip class or have his friends lie about his whereabouts. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too," he says, shocking Leslie. "I thought you knew we were dating."

"How?" she asks, shaking her head, "How was I supposed to know? We never talked about it."

"Yes we did," he says, smiling as he bridges the gap between them. "Remember you asked what this was and I said isn't it obvious?"

Leslie frowns, remembering the conversation. "I thought you meant we were having sex."

"Okay, so it had a double meaning."

This time, Leslie's the one to laugh. Now, all of Ben's weird behavior makes sense, from his possessive behavior at the bar to making her dinner and buying her that Diet Coke. "So we're good?"

"I don't know," Ben says, placing his hands on her waist, "my girlfriend left me for a week and came back and hasn't even kissed me hello."

"I'm sorry," she says, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning up to kiss him. "Is that better?"

"Not quite, he growls, lifting her up and pressing her against the door, his teeth pulling on her bottom lip. "Bedroom," he says, kissing her as he carries her to his room. She kisses him back with equal fervor, carding her fingers through his hair, kicking her shoes off before she lands on the bed.

"I need you naked," he says, "please."

She nods and lifts her cotton dress over her head, followed by her bra and panties. Then she leans back on her elbows and watches as Ben takes off his clothes. Once he's nude, he climbs on the bed, lying beside her.

"You're beautiful," he says, drawing a line down the center of her body from her throat to her belly button with two fingers. The way he says it, with such rough conviction, makes her want to cry. "Now don't do that," he says with a gentle laugh. "Tell me what you want."

"Fuck me."

"You got it," he says, pulling her over and threading his fingers through her hair. His kisses are soft, languid and feel like they last for days. Then he pulls back, smiles again and then ducks down and kisses her hip. He gently pushes her onto her back and she spreads her legs apart, giving him room to lie between them.

Her eyes close as his breath ghosts over her, followed by his soft mouth.

He's not doing this with anyone else. He called her his girlfriend.

Those thoughts combined with the way he's drawing geometric shapes into her with his tongue, makes her let out a sob of relief.

She's still coming down when he enters her, pleasure still rippling through her body. His fingers laced with hers, holding her down on the bed.

"You," he whispers into her ear, pulling on her earlobe with his teeth. "Only you." His thrusts are slow, yet powerful, angled just right. "Only you." He keeps whispering with her thrust. "No one else. Just you."

"Ben," she gasps, arches her back, needing more, needing release. She's so close, she just needs that extra push. She raises her legs, urging him to go deeper.

"Never," he says, "I thought…" but what Ben thought she can't hear over the haze building in her head.

But then he says something she does hear. It's said in rough tones, in ragged breaths yet in writes itself into her skin, permanently etches itself inside her. And even though a tiny voice in the back of her mind tells her not to do it, she responds in kind.

"I love you." He lets go of her hands and she instantly wraps them around his body, feeling the muscles underneath his skin as his thrusts speed up, taking her higher and higher until she's sure she can't come back down.

But then he says it again, and again, kissing her everywhere he can reach.

And she falls.

When Leslie wakes the bed is empty beside her. She sits up and looks around for her dress, eventually finding it on the floor. She slips it on and picks up her bra and panties and shoes as she makes her way out of his room and down the hall where she can hear Ben talking.

"Yeah, yeah, I understand." He's sitting on the couch; phone pressed to his ear his other hand holding a beer. "What? No Garth, I'm not going to ask her that…because she's seeing someone."

Leslie giggles. It seems like the appropriate response.

Ben turns around. "Hey Garth, I gotta let you go, I'll see you guys tomorrow--yes you can be the ledgerman, yes I'll tell Barney." He presses end on his phone.

"Hey, you're awake. I'm in the mood for an omelet, you hungry yet?"

"Did you mean it?"

"The part about Garth being ledgerman? Yeah, although Barney's probably going to have a fit. Or did you mean about me wanting an omelet? Because now that I think about it, French toast sounds better."

"I meant when you said you love me," she says.

"Oh, that." He hums and comes over to her, taking her hands. "Did you mean it?"

"I asked you first."

Ben grins. "I meant it. Do you need me to say it again?"

She tilts her head, pretending to think. "If you want."

"I love you, Leslie Knope." He says it with such raw conviction that her heart feels like it will explode into puppies and rainbows. So she smiles, combs her fingers through his hair and brings him down.

"I love you," she says against his lips.

Then she seals it with a kiss.


End file.
